There are two things that happen when there’s a change in the weather. We feel it. We deal with it.

If it’s cold, we grab a sweater; if it’s raining, an umbrella. The same thing applies when something changes in our lives. We feel it. We deal with it.

However, I’m going to suggest that there is a third one that shows up in the middle when it is about feelings and circumstances in our lives. Denial.

If you have grown up in a family where only happy feelings were welcome, then you understand what I am talking about. Perhaps you had a question or struggle that you wished to share with your spouse, or parents or with a sibling, but you knew that by sharing it you would be dismissed or worse yet, rejected. You learned very quickly to ignore what you feel, deny it and deal with it in a way that made your consequence less painful.

If this has been a pattern in your life, then it most likely will show up in your current relationships, your workplace, your health, your priorities, your decision making and even your prayers.

This past week, my husband and I travelled to a city three hours away for a consultation with a specialist for my health. During the appointment, the doctor asked me a few questions about the past few years of symptoms. Even though I had brought with me a full size, colour coded chart of my symptoms, one of the questions stumped me. He asked me if my pain was worse before I went on certain medication or after. I didn’t know. I couldn’t remember. I looked at my chart which was full of details but my memory felt blank.

I looked at my husband and he answered for me. He remembered and reminded me that yes, I was more active and with less pain about three years ago. On the car ride home, I told my husband about some other odd symptoms that had happened over the years. He asked me kindly, “Why didn’t you mention those?” and I answered, “I guess, when so many things are wrong, so much of the time, I just don’t react to everything”.

There is a numbing that happens to us when we belittle or dismiss pain and symptoms. I’m not condoning pulling the fire alarm with every small thing that we experience. When it begins to sprinkle rain, we can probably still go do groceries without getting fully suited up in rain gear. But there is something to be said for being aware of the weather, our feelings and the circumstances around us.

If you are a follower of Jesus, you may, as I have, added numbing or denial to your prayers. Instead of feeling my feelings, and dealing with them in prayer, I add denial, make them sound nice, kind and pleasant. My prayers sound like something you might read in a cute, pastel coloured children’s storybook.

We are, however, invited to do this instead . . .

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.” Hebrew 4:14-16 - The Message

So, as the weather changes both in our calendar and in our circumstances, as the pandemic continues, as political debates continue and as bullies continue to get their way, lets borrow a prayer from the Psalms, written by David, the Shepherd (then King) who’s reputation was that he was a man ‘after God’s own heart’. If David can pray that God would punch a bully in the nose, then so can we! Lets give it all we’ve got. No denial. Feel it. Deal with it - in prayer.

Psalm 35

“Harass these hecklers, God, punch these bullies in the nose. Grab a weapon, anything at hand; stand up for me! Get ready to throw the spear, aim the javelin, at the people who are out to get me. Reassure me; let me hear you say, “I’ll save you.”

When those thugs try to knife me in the back, make them look foolish.
Frustrate all those who are plotting my downfall.
Make them like cinders in a high wind,
with God’s angel working the bellows.
Make their road lightless and mud-slick,
with God’s angel on their tails.
Out of sheer cussedness they set a trap to catch me; for no good reason they dug a ditch to stop me.
Surprise them with your ambush—
catch them in the very trap they set,
the disaster they planned for me.

But let me run loose and free,
celebrating God’s great work,
Every bone in my body laughing, singing, “God, there’s no one like you.
You put the down-and-out on their feet
and protect the unprotected from bullies!”

Hostile accusers appear out of nowhere, they stand up and badger me.
They pay me back misery for mercy,
leaving my soul empty.

When they were sick, I dressed in black; instead of eating, I prayed.
My prayers were like lead in my gut,
like I’d lost my best friend, my brother.
I paced, distraught as a motherless child, hunched and heavyhearted.

But when I was down they threw a party! All the nameless riffraff of the town came chanting insults about me.
Like barbarians desecrating a shrine,
they destroyed my reputation.

God, how long are you going to stand there doing nothing?
Save me from their brutalities;
everything I’ve got is being thrown to the lions. I will give you full credit
when everyone gathers for worship;
When the people turn out in force
I will say my Hallelujahs.

Don’t let these liars, my enemies,
 have a party at my expense,
Those who hate me for no reason,
 winking and rolling their eyes.
No good is going to come
 from that crowd;
They spend all their time cooking up gossip against those who mind their own business. They open their mouths
in ugly grins, mocking, “Ha-ha, ha-ha, thought you’d get away with it?
 We’ve caught you hands down!”

Don’t you see what they’re doing, God?
You’re not going to let them get by with it, are you? Not going to walk off
without doing something, are you?

Please get up—wake up! Tend to my case. My God, my Lord—my life is on the line. Do what you think is right, God, my God, but don’t make me pay for their good time. Don’t let them say to themselves, “Ha-ha, we got what we wanted.” Don’t let them say, “We’ve chewed him up and spit him out.”
Let those who are being hilarious
at my expense be made to look ridiculous. Make them wear donkey’s ears; Pin them with the donkey’s tail,
who made themselves so high and mighty!

But those who want the best for me,
Let them have the last word—a glad shout!—and say, over and over and over,
“God is great—everything works together for good for his servant.”
I’ll tell the world how great and good you are, I’ll shout Hallelujah all day, every day.”