Distraction Action

It’s the end of the first week of January.

Phew. Big exhale . . . . . . .

I meant for it to be a transition week where I would rest up from the fun and fullness of December and and slowly begin to look at my to-do list but as the week progressed, so did my speed.

Suddenly, I felt the need to complete things “so that I could focus on my course work” this next week. A legitimate sounding reason but not really necessary. I like studying and I’ve learned the trick of studying within 30 seconds of sitting down. This keeps me from reorganizing the room or whatever tasks tempt me to procrastinate instead of studying.

So, why did I get distracted last week? Why did I think I had to accomplish things first. The to-do list is never really done. I am used to doing things a little at at time. Something else was driving me to this strange goal. I decided to sit with that question in my time with the Lord this morning.

I wrote about it in my journal and then listened to an audio version of Scripture on my phone. I watched the sunlight stream through the kitchen and onto the glass of our fireplace, it echoed the shape of the kitchen chair legs and created an image that looked like prison bars. I thought to myself that trying to finish this project last week felt like a prison in my mind. Then this other thought entered,

you created that prison for yourself

Whoa. Gulp. Ah . . . yes, I did. I sensed the conviction of God’s Spirit speaking truth.

The verse that I had chosen to focus on this next year, the one that I put up everywhere so that I’m reminded while brushing my teeth or sitting at my desk or use as an image on my laptop screen is this . . .

“I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing:
To live with him in his house my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet.” Psalm 27:4

And yet, the project that I was doing seemed to take over my brain and compelled me not only to conquer it but to conquer it fast and to the detriment of other priorities.

I know better. So did Paul and here is how he explained it:

“It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.  I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.” Romans 7:21-25

Am I saying that working on a project is sin? Maybe. If it means that I am avoiding something else that God has asked me to do. In my life, God has been clear what my priorities need to be and anything that takes my eyes off of that is a distraction. I was going to spend this week in a prayerful mindset, resting and allowing God to direct me in different areas of my life. I was going to listen. I was going to read and write and let this week be a fresh start to a new year! But instead, I got consumed with this project.

What about you? How did the first week of January go for you?

I thank you Lord, that You love me enough to be involved in the intricate, smallest details of my life. Thank you that You care about my well being, my rest, my shoulders not being all tensed up. You invite me to learn from You, to do things how you would, in your timing. Lift my head and attention up from the distractions and my self-imposed accomplishment schedule. Thank You that Your forgiveness reaches me even in these tiny situations and that You want my full, undivided attention. Thank you that I matter, and each one who is reading this matters to You too. Reveal truth to us Lord, and help us to discern Your voice amidst the noise. amen.