This morning tears flowed freely. Good tears, relieved ones.

I woke with an anxious and full mind. I decided to jot down my thoughts and lists and was tempted to tackle them right away, but I sensed God saying “Nah … wait a little.”

I’m in my third week of six, recovering from an ileostomy surgery and each morning there are new questions, new symptoms, new healing successes, and new complications. I now wear an ostomy bag on my stomach and there are skin irritations from the stomach acid, different methods of treating this according to different nurses, products to choose from, companies to order from, samples to try, vendors to contact, and costs to record. I am experiencing less pain and have come off most of my pain medication. I share more about this on Instagram (if you’re interested), that this surgery has really worked and relieved my pain but then I remember a second surgery is still to come. Whoa … so many thoughts. Until this morning, I haven’t noticed how busy my mind has been as my body is slowly healing. I thought it might have been just a new energy from being off those drowsy medications, but it wasn’t.

So, I made breakfast, curled up on the couch, and decided to listen to worship music instead of my usual routine of journaling, reading, etc. I found a random song on YouTube, put my earbuds in, turned up the volume, and … my soul melted. Tears flowed. My whole body relaxed and I realized how much I needed to soak, to steep in the love of God. My mind needed a break and my heart needed to feel. 🥺😢🥰

Some of the lyrics:

“He has good plans, He has good plans for me. So I will take heart in deserts and gardens. If I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans . . . “ Red Rocks Worship - Good Plans

Yes, I have questions. Yes, I have concerns but they CANNOT be allowed to control me.

In December, I found a few verses that I chose to meditate on for 2024 and today is a good day to now write them out and place those around the house, on my desk, beside my bed, on my laptop, on top of my coursework work, in the kitchen where I learn to eat differently and one in the bathroom where I daily deal with this new ostomy bag on my stomach.

Here are Jesus’ words:

What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:31-34

May you hear the voice of God in your own life today, calling you toward what God has for you, less figuring out, less striving, less leaning on your own wisdom, so that you can be blessed with God’s peace first.

Let’s steep. 💕

Okay, now I’m ready to look at my lists. :)

Sending love to all of you today.

Heather